about my girlfriend

The very short version of how we met: I met Anna in probably the most unusual way. I was on a family holiday through Europe when I ran into this red-headed Finnish girl. She was on an interrail with her friends, travelling through Europe. I was in Rome, July 2015, during one of the worst heatwaves, and with temperatures reaching 35ºC+ everybody was keeping indoors as much as possible.

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how to: meditate (and why)

There's nothing I used to get sick of more than self-development blogs lecturing me on meditation. It wasn't that I didn't understand that it was good for you somehow. I did. There are so many websites talking about the benefits. And I understood the idea of being present. To be honest, I just didn't want to sit in a chair with my eyes shut. It sounded boring, and every time I thought about it I got fidgety. 

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story: sexual anxiety

There was a time, a little over two years ago, when I was on a sexless streak. I hadn't had sex since my high school girlfriend broke up with me and I had no idea what to do to get a girl. I kind of assumed she'd fall into my lap without me having to do anything, and it would be love at first sight. Plus, I was terrified of girls. The idea of approaching someone on the street, or going on a date, or getting naked with someone sent my heart rate racing.

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you are a statue, not a mountain-climber

There's a really entrenched idea in the self-development community about what self-development actually is. People tend to imagine it as a struggle and a journey, like pushing a boulder up a hill. The idea is this: at the top of the hill, there's an ideal version of you. He's confident, smart, fit, industrious and charismatic. He has lots of money, he's great with girls and he's changing the world. And you? You're at the bottom of the hill, looking up at this ideal guy who's not you. And to 'get to' him, to 'become' him, you have to climb that hill.

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