do you watch porn?

 
PIC: Yeah nah nah yeah nah

PIC: Yeah nah nah yeah nah

 

Every single guy I know, apart from my best mate who also writes for this blog, watches porn. It's just such a common thing that no one thinks bad of it or questions it. Because no-one can, there are barely any people who don't watch it who could claim to have any high ground. Not high ground for any moral reason (I have nothing against two consenting adults filming themselves banging for cash) but for psychological reasons. I don't think it's healthy to be constantly watching porn multiple times a week and jacking off to it. Not to say there's anything wrong with masturbation in general, but porn and/or too much jacking off is a real issue in a lot of guys lives.

We thought it was so bad in fact, that the very first thing we both did when starting out was to entirely quit watching, and jacking off to porn. And it helped so much.  

 See your brain starts to get wired to the stuff. It starts to think you're winning the evolutionary lottery because you can see all these babes banging away. But afterwards how do you feel? Kinda empty and down? Drained of energy? There's no human connection there. It's just a video. And you end up feeling like a sleazy voyeur, angrily wanking to someone else's enjoyment. There's a good TED talk on porn, and I pretty much agree with most of what's said there.

The other problem is that porn affects your sexual arousal response. You get so used to associating watching OTHER people on a screen with being turned on that when you end up with a real-life girl your dick can fail to register what's going on as arousing. I know my best mate had an issue with this at first when he started seeing girls, and it took a little bit of real interaction to rewire his junk. Pretty funny really but no-one wants to go soft when they know they should really be turned on.

 By constantly watching porn you become numb to interactions with females, it becomes harder to look past their appearance and talk to them like humans. I know this sounds very feminist/SJW but it's all from personal experience. And feminists and SJWs won't say this: if you stop watching porn, you will get laid more.

If you're like 99.9% of guys, you've never gone a prolonged period without porn since you started watching it years ago, so it's going to be hard to explain this part properly. The fact is, quitting porn makes you feel different in day-to-day life. We both noticed within a couple weeks of stopping that we started feeling more centred and relaxed. You definitely get an energy boost, a sort of outward ease that makes it so much easier to connect with girls. Even the simplest things, like holding eye contact, get improved. Part of it might be the psychological frame of mind (getting out of those lonely and inferior 'voyeur' vibes and into a more confident human-focused mindset) and part might be physiological (semen and hormones and stuff), I don't know. I'm not saying it's going to turn you into Superman, but it will most likely give you a more comfortable, centred engagement in social situations.

I know it can be hard to quit porn at first. It's a habit and it's so easy to do when you're in the mood or just bored. But every time you get that urge you need to intercept it, engage in a different activity instead, and focus on the kind of guy you want to be: the kind of guy who has sex, who's confident and comfortable in his skin, the guy who doesn't watch porn. Watching porn puts you in such a sad and demeaning position, and you KNOW it while you're doing it. Pleasure is short and doesn't really seem to be worth that sinking feeling afterwards. Bookmark this post if you'd like to, and read it when you'd rather be jacking off. No, one porn session isn't going to kill you and it's not the apocalypse if you do end up watching it again. But we've both just found it really positive to get rid of that part of our lives and replace it with something more real. And moving towards that ideal is a good thing.

Like many guys you might doubt it has any effect or will help at all, but all we ask is that you go one month without porn and see how you feel. Maybe as we did, you'll never look back. You will feel overall happier and more positive about women, and you'll be pursuing your sex drive in the way it was meant to be expressed!

- Conor