sexual innuendo

 

Motorboating on the dam (Tallowa Dam, NSW)

 

Sometimes when I'm with a girl, I'll go through her tinder just to see how others guys message, or what their profiles look like. It's like an art of war Sun Tzu thing, know thy enemy. I wouldn't say guys are my enemies at all (in fact that's a pretty paranoid mindset to have), but I mean they still are my competition technically. I pretty much end up finding the same thing every time. Guys finding any little trivial thing in conversation, and turning it into something sexual.

*Screenshotted this off a friends phone as an example*

"So can I ask what you do with the other half of the day?"

"Usually work, or go explore new places."

"Please fuck me!!"

"what..."

*Yup, that's what she reads when you message shit like that*

It just doesn't really work. Not in my humble experience anyways. If you look through some of my whole Tinder conversations you'll see they're just fairly basic and normal, genuine conversations. Like I was speaking to a girl in real life.  

By turning everything sexual you're just making yourself look overly keen. And you're just saying I'm only here for easy sex. Which is fine but girls don't want to be easy and girls don't want to feel like they're easy. So even if you're only just in it for an quick bang, this isn't the way to go about it.

You're ON TINDER. An app literally designed for people to find a root. In simple terms, you don't need to say anything about sex because the context already establishes it.

An easy way to to judge if what your messaging is okay or not is to just ask yourself, would I say this to her in person?  

Banter is something that's usually coupled in with sexual innuendo. It should also be used very sparingly. A lot of this stuff can be okay in real life if you're just joking around, but even then the same rule applies.

So don't be like most dudes, cut down on the banter and sexual innuendo and you'll stand out and have much better and more successful conversations :D

- Dan