how to: get a tinder date

Step 1. Download and install Tinder on your phone. Duh. Now make a profile. You want about 3-5 decent pics of yourself that show your face and body quite clearly. Try to avoid shirtless pics, selfies, pics with girls, party pics, pretty much any pictures where it could be seen as boastful or showing off. Go through a girls tinder and look at what most guys are doing. Most seem to just go overboard with pictures of them with girls at parties who they're obviously not fucking, and ones with their group of lads acting tough. Once you swipe through that stuff for a while you just see that it's just typical dudes, trying to overcompensate. It doesn't really make you look interesting or intriguing at all.

Instead go for clean simple pictures of yourself, something like a shoulder up portrait shot of your face is perfect. Something that just shows you being you, chilling doing your own thing, not trying to show off or impress anybody. Those are the pictures that work best. 

Now for your bio, don't spend hours concocting the perfect, wittiest paragraph. Instead just dial it back and put something short and simple there. For example I study music composition at AIM so I just put "Music student at AIM," with a piano emoji because I play piano. Nothing fancy, just calm and casual.

Now just start swiping and get some matches!

Step 2. Now that you have some matches, pick a girl and look at her profile and make a few observations. Make your first message super simple and make it something to do with her specifically. As with your Tinder bio, don't make it too 'witty' or creative so it looks like you've spent hours thinking it up. Just something nice and simple.

If you can't think of anything a simple trick is to just make a guess about her and see if you're right: "German girl I'm guessing?" "...Guessing you're an au pair?" You'll see I do this throughout all my conversations.

For this girl I noticed her name was German so I just made a guess that she is German, and told her about my amazing revelation. 

Just remember that many girls will match with you without being overly interested in anything happening. I normally judge a girls first few responses and if they're half assed uninterested responses I usually won't bother. I'll just move to another girl. Don't be bothered if you don't get many good responses, it's very hit and miss. Just keep sending messages to girls you're interested in and eventually one will bite.

Step 3. Get to know her. Just have casual and honest small talk just as if you were getting to know someone in real life. Nothing fancy, just keep it light, talk about what you're interested in, what they're interested in. Wouldn't recommend anything even remotely sexual, that shit just doesn't work at all. You'll notice in this conversation I really don't do anything special at all. I don't use any pick up lines or 'tactics'. I just have pretty standard conversations, interesting I'd say, but very PG and innocent. Try and avoid the same old usual questions such as uni and work but it's all good if you do talk about them. You just want to avoid turning the conversation into an interview with you just asking questions and her answering them. 

Tinder is such a saturated market, there are literally millions of dudes messaging these girls who are all trying so hard, thinking of the best pick up lines, wittiest comebacks and having conversations packed full of banter. It all just screams "I'm desperate," which is pretty off putting for most girls. So the best way to stand out is to be different from most guys, and the best way to be different from most guys is to just tone down the 'desperation' and just have genuine, innocent, PG conversations.

Step 4. Once you feel like she's interested enough, based on her responses, just continue with the conversation but add a casual message asking her out. I only do coffee dates so I literally message the same thing every time. "Would you care for a coffee sometime?" and it pretty much always works!

I use this :-) face a lot and I think it looks so retarded and childish and that's exactly the reason I use it all the time. Hot girls are used to guys trying to act cool and macho around them so when you add these little :-) :-P things to your messages you just seem more playful and chill, like you don't have to prove anything to her. 

If she says nodon't fret the world won't end, just look at what you could've done better fix your mistakes and go back to step 2.

Once you've asked her out and hopefully she has said yes, just continue the conversation same per usual. It's weird if you just suddenly stop messaging her straight after asking her out, it just looks odd. So keep the conversation flowing and learn more about her. Although you can message her less, you're going to meet her so she know you don't have to hold solid conversation until you meet. I'm just saying don't fall off the planet straight after and just expect her to hold that interest in going on a date with you for a week. Life happens and date opportunities for any attractive girl are not scarce at all.

Now some dudes think getting a number from a girl is like sealing the deal. Like if you can get a girls number then she will definitely bang you. But really getting a girls number isn't that important at all. It's like hooking up at a club, and talk to any girl who goes out and they'll tell you they just make out with guys for fun with no intention of sleeping with them. My point is it's not really something you should worry about or think you have to get in order to win a girl. It really doesn't mean much. Also I personally hate messaging girls via text because you just become another faceless number on their phone. 

If you want to message on something other than Tinder I suggest using WhatsApp because it let's you set a picture next to your name and it has the same 'seen' thing that facebook messenger has. Plus if you're an odd ball like me and feel the need to compartmentalise your life in every way, this is the perfect way to do that. Just use WhatsApp for girls and girls only, so they're all in one place :D

To finish off, this is only really a rough guide on how to get a Tinder date based on how I go about it. I've just seen so much shit online about all these one liners and 'tactics' that you can use on Tinder to get the 'hottest girls' which don't work at all, or screenshots of guys sending really super explicit openers to girls and actually getting positive responses but I just don't buy it. So that's why I decided to write this 'how to' on how I go about it and get dates and sleep with girls off Tinder. And anyways, I'm positive those dudes who are sending bombshell openers and finding success are using fake model shots of guys in their profile, and maybe if you're a model looking dude you can say that kind of shit and it'll work. But I am no model and neither are you probably, so if you want to have some success on Tinder, then this is the best way I know. 

Here are another two whole conversations from Tinder from start to finish. As you'll see if you read them, they're both very basic conversations and I've done nothing special and that's the point I'm trying to make! Just keep it simple :D

- Dan

*And yes, the conversation on the right is long as fuck